Mother I Sober

I'm sensitive, I feel everything, I feel everybody
我很敏感 我共情一切 我共情所有人
One man standin' on 2 words, heal everybody
一人靠两个字支撑 治愈所有人
Transformation, then reciprocation, karma must return
升华 往复 因果必定轮回
Heal myself, secrets that I hide, buried in these words
治愈我自己 我隐藏的秘密埋藏在这些文字中
Death threats, ego must die, but I let it purge
死亡威胁 自负必须被抹除 但我选择让它净化
Pacify broken, pieces of me, it was all a blur
破碎的抚慰 我已裂成碎片 一切都很模糊
Mother cried, put they hands on her, it was family ties
母亲哭了 把手放在她身上 这是家人间的纽带
I heard it all, I should've grabbed a gun, but I was only five
我听到了一切 我应该拿起枪 但那时我只有五岁
I still feel weighin' on my heart, my first tough decision
我的心依旧沉重 我做出第一个艰难的决定
In the shadows clingin' to my soul as my only critic
作为我唯一的批判者在阴影中桎梏我的灵魂
Where's my faith? Told you I was Christian, but just not today
我的信仰去哪了？告诉过你我是基督徒 但今天我不是
I transformed, prayin' to the trees, God is taken shape
我升华了 对着那些树祈祷（树在基督教中象征的上帝的乐园） 上帝已然成形
My mothers mother followed me for years in her afterlife
我母亲的母亲在来世跟随我许多年
Starin' at me on back of some buses
在公交车的后座上盯着我发呆
I wake up at night, loved her dearly
我在夜里醒来 真挚地爱着她
Traded in my tears for a Range Rover
用我的眼泪换了一辆揽胜
Transformation, you ain't felt grief 'til you felt it sober
升华 在感知到它的苏醒前你不会感到悲伤
I wish I was somebody
我希望我是一个大人物
Anybody but myself
可以是任何人 但不要是我自己
Ooh, I wish I was somebody
Ooh 真希望我是个大人物
Anybody but myself
可以是任何人 但不要是我自己
I remember lookin' in the mirror knowin' I was gifted
我记得看着镜子里的自己 我知道自己很有天赋
Only child, me for seven years, everything for Christmas
七年里我是唯一的孩子 在圣诞节我拥有一切
Family ties, they accused my cousin
家人间的纽带 他们指控我的表弟
"Did he touch you Kendrick?"
“他碰你了吗，Kendrick？”
Never lied, but no one believed me
我从未撒谎但没有人相信我
When I said "He didn't", frozen moments, still holdin' on it
当我说 "他没有 "时 气氛凝固一直至今
Hard to trust myself, I started rhymin'
难以相信自己 我开始扭曲事实
Copin' mechanisms to lift up myself
努力应对让自己振作起来
Talked to my lawyer, told me not to be so hard on myself
与我的律师交谈 他告诉我不要对自己这么苛刻
He has an aurora, I hope to achieve
他身上的闪光点是我想要得到的
If I find some help, congratulations, made it to be famous
假如我获得了帮助 那么恭喜 你成名了
Still I feel uneasy, water watchin', live my life in nature
可我还是感到不安 瞭望大海 在大自然中生活
Only thing relieves me
这是唯一能让我感到解脱的事情
Spirit guide whisper in my ear tell me that she sees me
灵魂引导在我耳边告诉我它看到了我
"Did he touch you?" I said "No" again, still they didn't believe me
"他有没有碰你？" 我又说 "没有" 可他们还是不相信我
Mothers brother said he got revenge for my mothers face
母亲的弟弟说他为我母亲的脸面报仇了
Black and blue, the image of my queen that I can't erase
黑与蓝 我的女王的影像在我心中无法抹去
'Til this day can't look her in the eyes pain is takin' over
直至今日 我都无法直视她的眼睛 痛苦正笼罩着我
Blame myself, you never felt guilt 'til you felt it sober
我感到自责 在清醒前你从不会感受到内疚的感觉
I wish I was somebody
我希望我是一个大人物
Anybody but myself
可以是任何人 但不要是我自己
Ooh, I wish I was somebody
Ooh 我真希望自己是个大人物
Anybody but myself
可以是任何人 但不要是我自己
I was never high, I was never drunk, never out my mind, I need control
我从未嗑嗨过 我从未喝醉过 我需要控制自己的头脑
They handed me some smoke, but still I declined, I did it sober, sittin' with myself
他们给我递烟 但我仍然拒绝了 一个人坐在那里
I went through all emotions, no dependents, except for one
经历了太多情感 我没有任何依赖 除了一个人
Let me bring you closer, intoxicated, there's a lustful nature that I failed to mention
让我拉近与你的距离 我沉醉其中 探索我贪欲的本性
Insecurities that I project, sleepin' with other women
我缺乏安全感 故而与其他女人睡觉
Whitney's hurt, the pure soul I know I found her in the kitchen
Whitney感到受伤 我在厨房里发现了她 如此纯洁的灵魂
Askin' God "Where did I lose myself? And can it be forgiven?"
我问上帝 "我在哪里迷失了自己？能否被原谅？"
Broke me down, she looked me in my eyes
打破了我的心理防线 她看着我的眼睛说
"Is there an addiction?" I said "No", but this time I lied
"有瘾吗？" 我说 "没有" 但这次我撒谎了
I knew that I can't fix it, Pure soul, even in her pain
我知道我无法修复纯洁的灵魂 即便是在她的痛苦当中
Know she cared for me, gave me a number
知道她关心我 给了我她的号码
Said she recommended some therapy
她说她推荐我接受治疗
I asked my momma why she didn't believe me when I told her "No"
我问我妈妈 为什么我告诉她 “No”的时候她不相信我
I never knew she was violated in Chicago, I'm sympathetic
我从不知道她在芝加哥的时候被侵犯了 我很同情她
Told me she feared it happened to me, for my protection
她告诉我她害怕这种事情发生在我身上 她是为了保护我
Though it never happened, she wouldn't agree
虽然我说这些从未发生过 但她不同意
Now I'm affected, twenty years later trauma has resurfaced
我知道我受到了她的影响 因为二十年后创伤再次浮现
Amplified as I write this song, I shiver 'cause I'm nervous
当我写这首歌的时候我在颤抖 因为我很紧张
I was five, questioning myself, 'lone for many years
那时我五岁 我质疑自己 因此孤独了许多年
Nothing's wrong, just results on how them questions made me feel
没有什么不对的 这只不过是那些问题带给我感觉的后果
I made it home, seven years on tour, chasin' manhood
我终于回家了 七年来我一直绕道而行 试图寻找内心成熟的自己
But Whitney's gone by time you hear this song, she did all she could
但当你听到这首歌时 Whitney已然离去 她已经做了力所能及的一切
All those women gave me super powers, what I thought I lacked
这些女人赋予了我超能力 我以为我缺乏的东西
I pray our children don't inherit me and feelings
我祈祷我们的孩子不要继承我以及我的情绪
I attract, a conversation, not bein' addressed in black families
我发起了一场对话 提及那些在黑人家庭中没有得到解决的问题
The devastation hauntin' generations and humanity
这些问题的破坏力困扰着我们几代人以及我们的人性
They raped our mother, then they raped our sisters
他们侵犯了我们的母亲 然后他们侵犯了我们的姐妹
Then they made us watch, then made us rape eachother
他们逼我们我们看着 然后让我们互相侵犯
Psychotic torture between our lives we ain't recovered
这些生命中的精神折磨我们至今无法抹去
Still livin' as victims in the public's eyes, who pledge allegiance
在公众眼里我们仍是受害者 宣誓效忠的受害者
Every other brother has been compromised
所有其他的兄弟都已经妥协了
I know the secrets, every other rapper sexually abused
我知道其他说唱歌手被侵犯的秘密
I see them daily burin' they pain in chains and tattoos
我看到他们每天都在用纹身和束缚试图抚平痛苦
So listen close before you start to pass judgement on how we move
所以 在你批判我们的行为前 请仔细听好
Learn how we cope, whenever his uncle had to walk him from school
你该去了解我们是如何应对那些事情的 每当叔叔不得不带我们离开学校
His ankle grows deep in misogyny
我们在厌女的环境中耳濡目染
This is posttraumatic black families and a sodomy, today is still active
这些便是黑人家庭的创伤 而这些创伤今天仍然活跃
So I set free myself from all the guilt that I thought I made
所以我把自己从所有自以为的内疚中释放出来
So I set free my mother all the hurt that she titled shame
所以我把我母亲从她所示为“耻辱”的的伤害中解救出来
So I set free my cousin, khaotic for my mothers pain
所以我把我的表弟从混沌中解救出来
I hope Hakeem made you proud, 'cause you ain't die in vein
我希望Hykeem让你感到骄傲了 因为你没有白白死去
So I set free the power of Whitney, may she heal us all
所以我释放了Whitney的力量 愿她治愈我们所有人
So I set free our children, may good karma keep them with God
所以我让孩子们自由 愿善缘让他们与上帝同在
So I set free the hearts filled with hatred, keep our bodies sacred
所以我释怀了那些充满仇恨的心 让我们的身体保持圣洁
As I set free all you abusers, this is transformation
当我释放你们这些虐待者的时候 这 便是信仰的升华